The horror! Omg you care!!

This semester has been surprisingly stressful. Not only because I've been screwing around with my attendance a bit too much, but because of the surprising quality of tutors. I remember in the previous semester I had complained extensively about the 'made in china' lecturers who hadn't give two licks about us. This semester I learnt that you really have to watch what you wish for. The tutors actually care about us. Ugh.

Don't get me wrong, they're good teachers, just... plain weird. It surprises me how people can laugh at their jokes and apparantly enjoy their classes yet turn around and call them 'bitches' and 'bastards' for being so overbearing when they happen to care about us. It makes me wonder if my cathecism class students actually did that to me when I was teaching them. Fair enough that you can't expect everyone to like you, but I suppose it just kinda hurts to think of the fronts that people will put up for you.

In response to this, I do try to honestly see the good points of each teacher but some of them are just bloody overbearing eventhough they teach well. Don't talk to me like I'm 10 years old. I wish students would be honest with their teachers, but in Singapore, students-teacher raport isn't particularly emphasized or valued. It's somewhat of a rarity in schools, where your grades come before everything else and students are treated like fodder.

The presentation today bombed, though. I can honestly say I wasn't prepared as much as I should have been. I thought I could think on my feet, I thought that I could wing it. Hey, I had done so back in debates. I forgot the amount of effort I had put into developing that ability to think on my feet, and years since my last debate, it's all gone out the window.

I really have to stop coasting from the top of the hill.

Zippedy-doo-dah~

Today was a surprisingly awesome day. And for some reason, telling people that seems to silence them. "Kristen having a good day? Seriously? Damn!" Indeed, for once I am not angry at being single, not angry at myself, not angry at my diet, not angry... at all.

I find myself walking down the street coming home, remembering some old jokes shared between friends and laughing loudly as the drivers give me funny looks. It's incredible. I haven't felt this light and bouyant inside for a long while.

Like most students at NIE these days, I'm swarmed with assignments. Yet I feel in control to a certain degree. I'm getting them done, I'm doing my best. The more I work, the more I feel like I'm in control, and the happier become. While that sounded mildly obsessive compulsive, I have to admit that I rarely feel in control.

I suppose the good day started when Kirk told me he had finally gotten his hands on a copy of Imagine FX, which had published a picture of mine in its gallery. I saw the screen shots and felt incredible yet humbled. The other pictures in the gallery look like they really deserve to be there, and I kind of wondered what on earth mine was doing there beside them. I have a long way to go yet.

Well the good day continued into the afternoon, as I did homework (wow!) till around two pm. Stopped a while to watch some strange and bizare japanese horror film called Marebito with my dad. It was made by the same guy who directed Juon, and it was a disappointment. Still, the way the story twisted, this guy has to seriously stop snacking on paintchips. Then went out for dinner with my family and finally came home.

I suppose the gastric-induced two days of rest seems to have paid off for me, I seriously needed it after my 'Recess' week of work, work, work. Have so much goodness to look forward to in the week aswell - Picnic with Wan and Mary Ann at East Coast on Sat, Oxtail lunch with Bren next Wednesday. Alot of worrisome events in the cards too, such as the submission of my lesson plans and presentations. But still - I will survive!